17 A guy is home alone. All of a sudden he hears barking at both the front and back doors. He looks out one window and then the next. At the back door is his dog. At the front, his wife. Which does he let in first and why? He lets the dog in first because it'll stop barking when it comes inside. 18 Is beer better than women? 1. Beer is never late. 2. A beer doesn't get jealous when you put your hands on another one. 3. You can have more than one beer in a night, and not feel guilty. 4. You can enjoy a beer in public. 5. Beer looks pretty well the same in the morning. 6. It's OK to leave a party with a different beer than you arrived with.  19 What to do to coworkers you don't get along with: 
Reprogram their contact dialers so they all call 'Dial-a-prayer'.  20  Two engineering students meet on campus one day.  The first engineer calls out to the other, "Hey! Nice bike! Where did you get it?" "Well," replies the other "I was walking to class the other day when this pretty, young, co-ed rides up on this bike. She jumps off, takes off all of her clothes and says "You can have ANYTHING YOU WANT!"  "Good choice," says the first, "her clothes wouldn't have fit you anyway."  21 A doctor vacationing on the Riviera met an old lawyer friend and asked him what he was doing there. The lawyer replied, "Remember that lousy real estate I bought? Well, it caught fire, so here I am with the fire insurance proceeds. What are you doing here?" The doctor replied, "Remember that lousy real estate I had in Mississippi? Well, the river overflowed, and here I am with the flood insurance proceeds." The lawyer looked puzzled and asked, "how did you start the flood?"  22 October 7, 1997: Thanks to Song at popo@bellatlantic.net for sending it in.

Bob was walking down the street when he saw two hearses pass by followed by a man walking a dog and a line of people 3 1/2 blocks long. Bob went over to the man and asked, "I don't mean to bother you but is this a funeral, I've never seen anything like it." The man replied, "You're not bothering me and yes this is a funeral procession ... let me explain. In the first hearse is my wife, my dog here bit her and she died. In the second hearse in my mother-in-law, my dog here bit her and she died." After pondering a moment, Bob said, "You know, mister, I might be interested in buying that dog." The man replied, "Get in line." 

23 Every night, Frank would go down to the liquor store, get a six pack, bring it home, and drink it while he watched TV.  One particular night, as he finished his last beer, the doorbell rang. He stumbled to the door and found a six foot cockroach standing there. The bug grabbed him by the collar and kneed him in the groin, then hit him behind the ear as he doubled over in pain.  Then he left.  The following day, Frank went to see his doctor. He explained the events of the preceding night. "What can I do?" he pleaded. "Not much" answered the doctor. "There's just a nasty bug going around."  24 A man was walking along the beach and found a bottle. He looked around and didn't see anyone so he opened it.  A genie appeared and thanked the man for letting him out. The genie said, "For your kindness I will grant you one wish, but only one." The man thought for a minute and said, "I have always wanted to go to Hawaii but have never been able to because I'm afraid of flying and ships make me claustrophobic and ill. So I wish for a road to be built from California to Hawaii." The genie thought for a few minutes and said, "No, I don't think I can do that. Just think of all the work involved with the pilings needed to hold up the highway and how deep they would have to be to reach the bottom of the ocean. Think of all the pavement that would be needed. No, that is just too much to ask." The man thought for another minute and then told the genie, "There is one other thing that I have always wanted. I Would like to be able to understand women. What makes them laugh and cry, why are they temperamental, why are they so difficult to get along with?  Basically, what makes them tick?" The genie considered for a few minutes and said, "So was that a two lane road or four?"  25 Don and his friend are on a hunting trip in east Africa when the prized ivory that is elephant tusks shows up close enough to be well within shooting distance. This time it's Don's turn. He takes aim. He fires! The elephant in a magnificent maneuver dodges the bullet. Don loads another one, takes aim and again the elephant dodges. getting a bit embarrassed as to his misses, Don walks closer, takes aim at point blank range, yet the quick moving elephant dodges another  one. Don's shooting partner hollers  from the safe distance he was at, "don't shoot anymore, this elephant will make us more money than the ivory's worth. Ket's catch him and ship him to the zoo. He'll become famous as the dodging elephant. So, you see, this is what they do. Months later another friend of Don's comes to town. Don, wanting to show his friend the around is anxious to see how this 'ol dodging elephant, now at the zoo, is  doing. So they head to the zoo. Don says, See this hear elephant. This is the one I was a tellin' you about on the phone, the one we caught in Africa, the one that dodges all those bullets. Incredible, says his friend. Don, eager to prove himself right, says "Yeah, watch, I'll throw some things at him. So, Don picks up a couple rocks and lets one fly at the elephant. The elephant never moved. the rock hits the elephant square in the head of the elephant. Don, looking a little puzzled, throws the other rock. Bingo, square in the head again. Don could see that his friend is beginning to doubt his story. So he tries a few more rocks. They hit the elephant every time. 
    Don walks around to the side of the cage and says to the elephant, "Hey come here" to the elephant. The elephant comes right on over. Don says to the elephant, "How come when I shot at you in Africa  you quickly dodged every bullet and now here in the zoo, when I throw much slower speeding rocks at you, they all hit you. The elephant gets close to Don's ear and says "I'm happy here in the zoo." 

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