35  Two guys are walking down a road when they come across a deep hole beside it. Being curious, they go over and check it out. When they look down, they are surprised to find they can't see the bottom. So they drop a couple of rocks down the hole and listen... Nothing! One of  them says "Man, that's a deep hole!" Thinking they might hear something larger hit the bottom, they find a big, old cinder block and pitch it over the side. They pause and listen intently...  They hear a sound, but it is coming from behind them! They quickly turn around to see a goat bearing down on them with it head lowered, flying along, its feet barely touching the ground, its moving so fast! 

The two men dive out of its way just in time and the goat plunges past them, into the seemingly bottomless hole, to its doom. The two look at each other and say "Boy that was close! We'd better get away from this thing before we end up with the goat!" So they continue on their way down the road until they happen across this farmer working near it. The men again put their heads together and figure that the goat belongs to the farmer and they decide to tell him what happened. "Hey Mr. Farmer. Do you happen to own a goat?" one of the men asked. The farmer replies "Yeah, why do you ask?" The men then tell what happened at the hole and how they narrowly avoided death in the hole from the speeding goat. The farmer said "Well boys, I don't think that was my goat. You see, my goat was really old and crippled up with arthritis. There is no way he could have been moving that fast.  Besides, I had him tied to this big, old cinder block." 

36 A woman, completely fed up with her husband's Internet obsession, finally takes matters into her own hands. One night, as he is sitting at the computer, she goes into the bedroom, takes off all her clothes, puts on a full length mink coat and posts herself between her husband and the monitor. She pulls open the coat and yells, "Time for Super Sex!!!" He ignores her. So, she repeatedly yells, "Super Sex", "Super Sex", "Super Sex!" Finally, he replies, "Ok, Ok, I'll take the soup."  37 A psychiatrist in a mental hospital decided to test three patients to determine if they were well enough to be released. He asked the first one: "What is 3 times 3?" The patient answered: "111". He asked the same question of the second patient and was told the answer was "Tuesday". He told both that they weren't healed and would have to stay longer. He asked the third one: "What is 3 times 3?" The reply: "9". "Great! You're cured! You can go home, but tell me how you figured out the answer?"  "I just divided 111 by Tuesday."  38 A woman was trying to board a bus, but her skirt was too tight and she couldn't step up. She reached behind her and lowered the zipper a bit and tried again. The skirt was still too tight. She reached behind and lowered the zipper some more and tried again to step up. Still too tight, she lowered the zipper a third time. All of a sudden she felt too hands on her buttocks, which proceeded to push her up onto the bus. She spun around, with anger in her eyes, and said very indignantly, "Sir, I do not know you well enough for you to behave in such manner!!" The man smiled coyly and said, "Lady, I don't know you well enough for you to unzip my fly three times either!"  39 A Lawyer, a Doctor and an Engineer have all been sentenced to die for crimes that they have committed. The Lawyer is brought up in shackles and placed in the Guillotine.  The executioner pulls the lever to activate the device and the blade starts to fall but jams.  The Lawyer is spared and released to go free. The Doctor is brought up in shackles and placed in the guillotine. The executioner pulls the lever to activate the device and the blade starts to fall but jams.  The Doctor is spared and released to go free. The Engineer is brought up in shackles and placed in the guillotine. The executioner reaches for the lever to activate the device and the Engineer shouts "Wait! Stop everything! I think I've figured out your problem!"  40  3 nuns were assigned to paint a room in a church. It was a really hot day, and the nuns were sweltering in their heavy black clothes, so they decided to remove all clothes down to their underwear in order to comfortably continue painting. Later they heard a knock on the door..."Whoooooo is it?????" 
    The man replied "I'm the blind man." So, the nuns decided to let him in since he would not be able to see them. The nuns let him into the room. The man looked around the room, then looked at them and said "Nice view sisters, but where do you want the blinds?"  41 This door-to-door entrepreneur became rather bored with his job of selling Bibles, so he decided to become a boss, hiring three people to sell Bibles for him.  He interviewed three people.  The first came in and said, "I want to sell Bibles for you."  "OK, you're hired.  Here's your kit; go sell!"  The second came in and said, "I want to sell Bibles for you."  "OK, you're hired!  Here's your kit; go sell!"  The third  came in and said, "I- I - I    wa wa wa-want tuh tuh tuh tuh to suh suh suh suh ell, tuh tuh sell, tuh sell, tuh sell, Ba Ba Ba Bibles, sell Ba Bibles fo fo fo-fo for yuh yuh yuh you,  Bibles for you!" " 
No," shouted the man, "this will never work!  You can't sell Bibles for me!"  The applicant replied, "Buh buh buh buh but I rer rer rer really, but I really, rea rah really, nuh nuh nuh nuh need th th th this, really need the the the this job!" As there were no other applicants, the man said, "OK, I'll give you one shot at this, but I expect you to PRODUCE!" At the end of the day, the first applicant comes back and reports, "I sold 8 Bibles today."  The second reports: "I sold 11 Bibles today. The third worker reports, "To to to to tuh tuh today, I I I so so so , I so , I so  I sold tuh tuh tuh tuh 28 Buh buh buh bi bibles!"  "Great," says the man. "However, I want you to sell lots more Bibles than that, so get out there tomorrow and MAKE ME SOME MONEY!" At the end of the first day, the first worker comes in and reports, 
"Today, I sold 32 Bibles."  The second worker reports, "I sold 44 Bibles today"  The third worker reports, "To to to to today, I I I so  so I so I sold 79 Bi-bi-bi- sold 79, sold 79 Bi buh buh Bibles." "Fantastic," said the man, "since you're doing so well, so much better than these other two bums, why don't you tell them what your sales technique is."  Replied the worker, "I I I juh juh juh juh juh juh just  wa  wa wa  just wa wa wa walk, just walk up to up to to to to, just walk up to them and and ask, them and ask them and ask if f f f f f f f f th th th th ask if they wa wa wa, wa wa wa, ask if they wa want tuh tuh to, if they want to buh buh buh buh buh,  if they want to buh buy a Ba bi, want to buy a Buh buh bi bible, or duh duh duh duh do th th they, do they wa wa wa want me to ***READ*** it to 'em?"

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