Rate-A-Mate
or a potential one.
"Healthy love.(what's
healthy love?).cannot
be demanded nor taken for granted. It can only be a continuing give
and take exchange and dialogue between two independent persons who
share many values and responsibilities, yet still feel a childlike magic
with each other."....unknown.
Healthy love is that where
each partner is becoming one soul, beginning where each 'sees' a connection
of the
soul of the other with the
Soul of all and merging each partners' soul with the Soul of all into
a new creation.
Many males and females have
alternative hidden agendas. Some are anxious to marry. Many want this for
selfish reasons other than being together and sharing life together, growing
in love. Better to be together and share life together without this licensed
thing from the state for a price, called marriage certificate. Marriage
then comes with a high price tag to get out of once things turn out not
as expected.
Look away from your flesh
hunger for a moment and consider the person who is the object of your attention.
__________________________
Categories
are in no particular
order of importance whatsoever.
Too
many of us have relationships that have deteriorated
into little more than a convenience of association. Perhaps rate your mate
or a prospective one and find out a little more of where you stand or should
stand with each other.
When to rate? Whenever. Do
it
a few times. At the beginning, a month later and so on. The score should
go up each time.
Get a piece of paper and
for.each item.rate
your
thoughts from 1-10 with 10 being the absolute
epitome
of your expectations.
An expectation
is something you feel another should fulfil.in
order for them to be accepted by you. It's good to have standards,
but acting as if another's interactions lack some standard of perfection
you adhere to, will be disappointing. Expect a lot from yourself
in being your best at all times if you are out to fit with another
of similar character quality as you may be.
The word expectaton denotes
a strong unbendable.hope.
That's different from an anticipation,
which is more of a looking forward that the following categories
will exemplify
the kind of person you would like to be together with throughout your life.
When completed, add up your
score. From a possible of 320, anything less than around 224, find another
or decide how you are going to handle the too many negatives. Can and/or
would the negatives eventually
dissipate
when and if the mind changes and how long do you think that would be in
order to see change and are you willing to 'go through it' until you see
improvement? Is the person worth it as
Stasi was? And how do you feel about, keep looking?
Add 1 point for each year
if you already are together.
The following 32 points for
consideration will help you determine what is really attractive about another.
Keep in mind that the negative things you see in another are things submerged.in
you.that
are often not instantly available on the surface for immediate consideration;
they require contemplation.
If you score well in these
32 categories, know then that you.belong
with.each
other. Avoid controling men and if a man, avoid controlling women. These
are those believing not that you belong with each other, but rather,.belong
to.each other,
as if the other person was some sort of a possession, like a car or bank
account exclusively for personal use.
1- Sexually attractive
to you.lovemaking
excitement potential; passionate?
Being in love is being aroused
by the sexual and romantic thrill of the other person. There are many
kinds of love.
4 more reasons for not being
a 'porker': The head is clearer, the health is better, the heart is
lighter and the purse is heavier! Drop the philosophy you get enough exercise
just pushing your luck! To find out where
you stand...
Sexual attraction is the
first thing that brings males and females toward a relationship. A question
to ask yourself about your prospective is can his/her kiss keep the winter
warm for you? If you don't think it can, don't think much about this person
for a mate.
Another thing that will kill
sexual attraction quickly is if one or the other is a 'sapper',
an energy hog.
And why
would someone be like that instead of being giving and helpful?
Do you feel as elated around
the person 6 months into the relationship 'trial period' as you did initially?
How many instances of you feeling sapped by the other were there? One is
more that enough to make you think seriously about any long term commitment.
Do you think she/he is
able to.keep.you
happy?
What
about older combining with younger?
The first thing toward a
relationship after attraction is noticed, is courting,
beginning with conversation.
Yeah, but, what if a guy
has 8 girls or a girl has 8 guys that they are attracted to that all seem
to fit well? Nice to have such a choice, eh? Go for the one you are most
attracted to and this should include qualities of character important to
you that he or she possesses more of than the others.
Does he or she have that
light, that life in them:.John
8:12 "Then spake Emmanuel
again unto them saying, I am the light of the world. He that follows me.(1Peter
2:21).is
not in darkness but has the light of life.".Does
she or he make the Sun shine in your heart? Do they reflect the
higher standards of character to you? Do they even know anything about
higher standards? Do they know any high standards at all? Do they follow
high standards?
The mate you will attract
will be in accordance with what you feel is needed at this time to complete
yourself. If this completion of each other fails to carry on as you both
grow on in life, the relationship will dissipate.
It's a process that needs continuance.
If there is more than one
for you that seems to fit, you have to weed them out by getting to know
them until some shine not quite as bright as at first. Still not sure?
Then, you're not ready or you're being 'called' either to somewhere or
someone else!
But what if once I decide
on someone and become committed, then later some other person comes along
that I'm strongly attracted too?
You have to at some time
make a decision and stick with it or you'll be forever in a mode
where nothing ever grows into the depth necessary to fully carry a relationship
through life.
First, decide if you really
do want to spend the rest of your life with this person or continuously
with any person and the way he or she is now. If not, say goodbye.
Decide then, that once you
have set your heart on someone, that this person will be your one and only,
providing of course, that the one you have decided upon generally and overall,
keeps growing in positives with you.
In making this decision on
your one and only, consider: Do you live in his heart and vice
versa? If not, better wait till you begin to at least function
as a unit. All relationships are to help each other and that direction
should generally be consistent, so that each improves as a person.
If you are in it just for
sex or for other selfish reasons, get out and get mature, otherwise you'll
waste too much time on patching, patching, patching as things continually
will tend to fall apart because of a sketchy
start.
The equation is: the degree
of selfishness is equal to the length of time the relationship can continue.
Unless equal and thus balanced, the relationship will wobble
and then fall over:.2Corinthians
6:14.
Guys, increasing
your chances.
2- Good looking to you?.pleasant
looks; but remember, Emmanuel was no beauty.(Isaiah
53:2-4), nor
was the great apostle Paul and Emmanuel was perhaps even chubby.(servant.org/h_cc.htm).yet
would have been as perfect a mate as a girl would want.
Could not a man or woman
today who is an.active.spiritual
person.(see
#15).also
be a perfect mate?
Is the person under consideration
attractive
to
you? Ask yourself "do I really want to live with
this person for the rest of my life the way they presently may be and can
I...warts, faults and all or do they have to change a lot first?"
If the answer is no and/or
if they have to change first, say goodbye, for their sake and yours. Be
honest with yourself! The world doesn't rise or fall in one day. Don't
put excessive attention and all your hopes on anything but your connection
with the Soul.
Do you think he or she feels
you in their heart, sees you in their heart, wants you to be in their heart?
If you answer no, say goodbye!
Ask yourself
if this guy or girl has enough love to last a lifetime.
People who say one cannot
fool nature never watched a beauty shop operator work! Ha ha!
They all look cute by the
dashboard light, but it's what's there the morning after the night!
3- Affectionate?.likes
to be close and touch you or resistive,
self
sabotage type; thinks life is a succession of things to be enjoyed,
endured, licked or
commanded?
One can't be affectionate
from the heart unless he or she knows that they are loved. Some believe
that they are so worthless, that no one could possibly love them. They
come with a burden!
Expressing
heartfelt affection is important. Be sure the someone you find wants
to be the fire in your night! Be sure he or she is hot for you!
4- Fun?.Is
he/she fun, sharing good times, enjoyable to be around, upbeat and encouraging;
do you feel good with him/her; humorous; do I want this person just to
fill a void in
my life or because I'm anxious to share what I am; is he or she nice, but
not freakishly
nicey, nice?
The nicest people are those
who minimize one's faults and maximize one's virtues?
5- Likes to be and do
things with you?.Does
he or she accept you? If they do, they'll be happy around you and will
build upon acceptance by being and doing positive things with you and to
you and for you. In this way
rapport is built.
Or perhaps the person you're
considering is really not yet
ready for a relationship, still 'finding
the self' or is a competitor
with you having little to no innerstanding
of sexual differences.
To be loved as much as possible
from another's heart, what we all want, right?, he or she must be interested
enough to want to have an innerstanding of you and
want to be like this...
What is an innerstanding?
It's being aware of where another stands in their heart, what they are
like. Do they possess higher consciousness qualities and if so, which ones
or maybe even, all
of them?
To this end, one seeking
a relationship must both be capable of allowing the heart to be comprehended,
that is, being open and honest, able and willing to perceive
another's feelings.
Predictable
behavior is always based on love. Erratic
behavior is based on selfishness.
If someone is not trying
to comprehend this and discover who is this person that is you, what then
do they want from you? Certainly not a lasting relationship!
6- Proud of this person?.Proud
to be with him or her, proud of their looks and
demeanor?
Sincerely makes you feel special; giving, generous; exhibits composure;
a
gentleman or lady or, embarrassed somewhat to be seen with them? Want
them to change before acceptable to you? Find another.
