What men and women want.
We all want someone who can
contribute to us becoming a better person, someone from whom we can learn,
someone who is intelligent enough to challenge us mentally. When you are
with someone not as smart, you are being kind, but we all need stimulation:.Proverbs
27:17 "Iron sharpens iron; so a man sharpens the countenance of his
people agree with everything someone says, a sign of a selfish and needy
person who is a drain in a relationship.
If you do not concur
with something that is said, do not phonily
agree with it, thinking it's what she may want. Women are looking for someone
who is going to stimulate their mind... not bore
them. Women are not turned on by men they can completely control. Both
are happiest when they are subject to each other, for here there is rapport:.Ephesians
5:21 "Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God."
Confident persons are more
rewarding to be with than negative persons. Confident persons are alert
to what is going on, aware of things of the other so they can get to know
about the person they are going on a date with. They don't ask the obvious;
for example "Did you have a good time?" Be secure enough to assume that
they had a good time.
If you have plans and a date
opportunity shows up, be a person of integrity
and keep your original plans.
Do not be afraid to challenge
one another. Be a decisive planner of fun times. Figure out what the other
likes without asking them.
Have your own life and openly
and passionately share it. Don't be afraid to carry on living if you 'don't
have this person'.
Do not 'beat the other to
death' with your presence, such as constant text messaging, frequent phone
calls. Avoid being a 'clinger'.
Getting to know each other.
To do this you must be observant. If you are shopping and you see someone
you like, note what they are buying and ask something about it. Example:
If a person is selecting a turnip, you could ask if they prefer that to
a rutabaga. Something! Think!
If they do not smile, only
be around for awhile. A smile shows one is 'together', confident, friendly
and puts the other at ease. This helps to create an openness, so necessary
for the rapport to grow that will take you along in a relationship.
If you know what you want,
go after it, go immediately and engage in
conversation. If you do not move quickly, you have decided for 'something'
else. If you do not know what you want, how will you know who to go after
or worse yet, if you cannot decide on what you want, you will sit at home
Does the other person exhibit
or does their demeanor
present negativity? If a man, when making eye contact, do not be first
to break it. Know what your eyes are saying about you. And when
If you are nervous you have
an alternate agenda. Clean yourself up first so you become a giver and
you will be comfortable in all situations.
Are you capable of paying
close attention to the other? Are you ready to take note of the details
of the conversation?
At the end of the first date,
if a man, ask her out again to do something that you previously noted that
affects her positively. Some activity is good. Avoid the same 'ol thing
again. Do some creative thinking.
Forget sex! It is a natural
outcrop of rapport.
Without rapport, there is no relationship. Enjoy the journey towards it.
Be positive when on a date,
actually, always be positive if you can. The world has enough downers and
complainers. Do not add more negativity to the
womens' ways. Why should a man pursue someone who isn't happy?
Be complimentary toward each
other. Have wisdom and be sincere or you may overdo it. Complimenting the
other involves not eyeing out others when you are with them. Devote your
attention to the one you are with at the time, not the cell phone.
Some good advice from David
on the Observation. In order to properly act upon the observation, you
need to open her up and evoke
a feeling. For instance, if a woman is ordering a double espresso, the
thing to talk about is usually the first thing that comes to your mind.
"A typical guy might say,
"Do you like coffee?" which leads to a yes or no answer. A man who is 100
percent present will look at her and say, "Rough night last night?" or
"Busy day ahead?" What you're trying to do is stay inside her head and
remain in her current thought process. It's much easier to have a conversation
based upon things she's already experiencing. A woman will share something
that's already going on in her head.
"Another example: you're
standing at a bar and see a woman ferociously texting someone while standing
there by herself. You can walk over and make an assumption like "Is your
friend late?" This will in turn open up a conversation based upon feelings
and emotions." Women are emotional creatures. They want to bond with you
emotionally. They don't want to bond with you randomly. A lot of men always
think about what to say next or they have a script in their head about
what to say next. That's not a conversation -- that's a bad screenplay.
For example, I was standing with a couple of clients on a corner in Williamsburg,
Brooklyn. There was a woman standing there by herself with a suitcase,
obviously waiting for someone to pick her up for a weekend getaway. So
what did these two guys do? They observed and they asked her: Guys: "So
where are you going?" Girl: "New Jersey." Immediately one of them says,
"New Jersey? I'm from Tampa." That's not a conversation. That is a guy
changing the subject to talk about himself. He doesn't care about her right
off the bat. The correct thing to say in this situation is this: Guy: "Where
in Jersey are you going?" Girl: "The shore for the weekend." Now, in turn,
the two guys can keep her present in her head about the weekend and ask
her about her trip. Guys: "Which beach?" or "Wow, how long are you staying
If they listen and stop thinking
about how to amuse her by telling her they're from Tampa, they'll actually
connect with her and have a conversation about the shore, vacations --
and who knows where the conversation might go. Men complicate things for
no reason. There are no magic lines that you can say, but in reality if
men just talked to women like they talk to their closest friends, they
would have amazing conversations. Men just need to relax and listen to
what women are saying. Dress for a strong appearance. Make sure you're
not sabotaging your efforts with your attire. If you look like a slob,
it will not matter what your body language says, because you will look
like every other man who put no thought into what he was going to wear
that night to attract women. Buy clothing that makes you stand out from
the rest of the men. Find a cool pair of jeans and some great shirts that
give you an edge, so when you walk in with the right body language, women
will see you. Keep in mind that shoes are really important too, so find
a few pairs that look great on you.
"Create a spark within her.
In the mind of a woman, playing it safe equals boring! You need to spark
her interest by being a bit disagreeable. For example, you get into a conversation
about summer movies and she says that "Spiderman III" was her favorite
Spidey movie so far. Instead of being agreeable, look her right in the
eye with confidence and tell her that she is so wrong, that the first Spiderman
was superior. Then proceed to tell her why you think so. This will create
a fun, friendly, flirtatious verbal sparring, which will create a spark
in her brain. She will realize that you are not a pushover like most men
and attraction will start to form in her head. Before calling a woman,
I think about everything she said and then I pick the most juicy topic
or opinion and challenge her with it. For example, going back to the example
of "Spiderman III"; I would text her the next day: "I was thinking U +
I need 2 re-watch Spiderman. U R so wrong. Name the time + place + I'll
bring the DVD."