By seeing
only the Creator in the other individual.(by
knowing that he or she is a creation of the Creator and that the Creator
has placed a spirit in each of us:.1Corinthians
2:11).you
get the Creator on your side to alter any
negative
situation, for why
would you hate the bad people?
Learn about
forgiveness. Forgiveness does not mean you stay in a bad situation.
Get
out!
Keep your mouth shut around
those who may harm you. Ancient king Hezekiah's people did. He was far
from perfect but believed God could help. He talked to God about the massive
trouble he was in. Guess what God did? The story:.2Kings
18:13 to 19:37.
Take your troubles to God:.Psalms
69:17 "And hide not your face from your servant, for I am in trouble.
Hear me speedily."
God is on your side:.John
6:68. You don't have to get even.
As learned from eastern
religions, harmony
cannot exist with inharmony.
Either circumstances
will change and you are moved from the situation or the other individual
will change or will be moved from you.
The quality of your life
depends on how you may feel at the moment, right now in the present and
also feel about.(think
about).the
people in your life. If you feel good right now, why not tomorrow and thereafter?
Can you not carry the feeling into tomorrow? Sure
you can, as long as you watch what you are entertaining in your mind.
On maintaining good relations
with others:.Proverbs
25:17.
But, what if someone is unnecessarily
troubling you?
What do you do with some
of the negative or toxic people that are already there?
One proven effective way
is to have a short (even 3 seconds) prayer
for the other.
But what if you also just
want to stay away from this toxic individual? Gradually reduce contact
and interaction. Assuming you don't want to burn bridges, but you do want
to remove yourself from the relationship, a gradual dis-entanglement over
a period of time is effective. Friendliness at a distance keeps the intimacy
at
bay. Do not get too involved with all those who come to you in a friendly
manner. Wait for further involvement until you see what they are really
like:.Matthew
7:16,20.
To help you address people
you wish you hadn't allowed entry to, you can use “Homeopathic Doses".
A homeopathic dose is the minimum dose necessary to treat a problem. In
this case, it's about dealing with people by structuring your interaction
in very small doses.
Creating balance in your
life: Every decision you make in the future will be based in part on past
experiences you had with individuals that impressed you, either positively
or negatively. Neuroscientist Dr. Daniel Amen says."Significant
input that is received in your brain triggers neural activity that cannot
simply be erased. In other words, their fingerprints are all over your
brain."
In all relationships we should
endeavor to bring peace to them:.Ephesians
4:3 "Endeavoring.(work
at being concerned about; one way
is).to
keep the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace." Romans
12:18 "If it be possible, as much as lies in you, live peaceably with
all people.".Be
big enough to take the invectives
and not pass them on; let it all stop with you.
Harmony of the world is a
consequence
of the Creator's perfection.
It is important to be in harmony with your Creator and you are this
way by faith, by belief.
And what
if one is lonely and in need of fellowship, care, consideration and
concern?
Psalms
3:1-6; 27:7-12; Psalms
46:1,10 "...God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in
trouble...Be still and know that I am God..." Psalms
61:3 "For you have been a shelter for me and a strong tower from the
enemy." Proverbs 18:10 "The name
of the Lord is a strong tower. The righteous run into it and are safe."
Conversing is a part:.There
is no relationship without involvement:.Luke
6:45 "...for of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaks.".Matthew
7:16-20.
And with that, we see a key
in conversing. If the individual whom
you are speaking with, gives forth an 'I'm just being nice to you and really
don't care about what you're saying' attitude, move on. If someone exhibits
a zombified
presence when you are talking, move on. If they do listen, yet don't seem
interested by not responding and perhaps asking you happily about it, move
on. For, why would you want to introduce good things to others with those
kinds of attitudes? They are actually telling you to leave them alone:.Hosea
4:17.
Never
argue:.Proverbs
18:6 "A fool's lips enter into contention and his mouth calls for strokes."
Proverbs
23:9 "Speak not in the ears of a fool, for he will despise the wisdom
of your words."
Learn
about
speaking and about conversation:.Matthew
12:36.
And about
listening.
Colossians
4:6 "Let your speech be always with grace,
seasoned with salt, that you may know how you ought to answer every one
of humanity.(if
you have in mind that you are going to always speak something out of love,
you'll know what to say:.Romans
13:10)."
James
1:19 "Wherefore, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear,
slow to speak, slow to wrath." Proverbs
17:7 "Excellent speech becomes not a fool...".(?)
Proverbs
22:11; Ecclesiastes
10:11-14; Colossians 4:6; 1Peter
3:10,15; James 3:6-9.
Any conversation you have
with another should come from you as nourishing:.Ephesians
4:29 "Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that
which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the
hearers. Philippians 4:8 "...whatsoever
things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just,
whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things
are of good report; if there be any virtue and if there be any praise,
think
on these things."
People functioning from fear
talk
mostly about what they don't like. Learn
why to refrain
your tongue. And, learn when to use it properly with wisdom.
Be grateful for a person
you can learn from, from a person who speaks out and what he or she says
is correct and instructive; maybe something you had not considered or not
considered in depth. Listen and learn.
In one's relationship with
all others, interaction is occurring. No interaction equals no relationship.
In relating to another or others, desire to comprehend
where they are 'coming from'. We all have lived differently and are always
changing; as such, each of us possess varying.concepts
about anything and everything. Just as two faces are never exactly alike
and no two people see them exactly alike either, so it is with the make
up of all our personalities. Although all is unified
below the atom, on the surface our
nervous systems have had a play in making uniqueness.
In communication involving
conversation, light to heavy; try to latch
onto an interesting item the other said that you know something about and
can add good information to..Listen.to
the ideas, the new creations and words that come from others. Remember
what Cicero
said."Silence
is one of the great acts of conversation."
Add variety when conversing
by not 'beating one subject to death'. And be sure your voice, your speaking.(Colossians
4:6), reflects kindness, joy.(do
you have a smile in your speaking?).and
humility.
Do not be afraid to find out what is in that mind of yours. Ask questions
about what it is that comes to your mind. Don't worry about immediate
answers. They'll come. This is.your.ride
baby! You want to be sure that whoever is to join you in it is all for
you:.Amos
3:3 "Can two walk together, except they be agreed?"
"You cannot speak that which
you do not know. You cannot share that which you do not feel. You cannot
give that which you do not possess. To give it and to share it and for
it to be effective, you first need to have it. Good communication starts
with good preparation."....Jim
Rohn.
"Not enough people realize
that it is our ability to use our language that will determine our place
on the social pyramid and that will also control, to a great extent, the
amount of money we will earn during our lives."....Earl
Nightingale.
If you write, write so that
a 12 year old can understand what you are trying to get across.
"If you can't explain something
simply, you really don't know
what you're talking about."....Einstein
"Every idea you present must
be something you could get across easily at a cocktail party with strangers."....Jack
Welch, GE Chief Executive.
Avoid
wasting
time on meaningless
drivel
as those in the ancient city of Athens did:.Acts
17:21. And avoid talking too much. What is too much? If you talk.(and
you may have to train yourself here with a watch for awhile).more
than one minute, the other person's mind begins to wander away, slipping
you into the category
of boring or
worse yet, a boor.
So it is best to gear a 45 second talk to end with a question before the
minute is up, such as, What do you think about that? Do you think it is
wise? Am I thinking correctly here? Am I out of touch? What would you have
done? Is that the only option? What else should I have perhaps considered?
etc.
Remember, the one in control
is generally the one who talks the least and asks questions.(the
way to learn). But do talk some and
in doing so, be open about your feelings on subjects you may be conversing
in. If you don't have an opinion on things, how can anyone else have an
interest in what's really you? How else can anyone get to understand you,
apart from them being around you constantly and seeing all your actions
in daily life?
Meeting someone for the
first time,.light
conversation.is
engaged in: Light conversation is that in which the subject is changed
frequently, not really getting into things below the surface. It's
just finding out surface interests, a testing another to see where they
are at and if there is there could be any rapport
there. It is important to keep any dissenting
opinions to yourself, commenting instead on those things which draw each
of you closer into agreement.(Amos
3:3).toward
a rapport developing.
When you are enthusiastic,
yet.calm
and confident,
you will feel comfortable.
People like
to hear personal experiences. Share your own stories. They create the greatest
interest in another. Never end a conversation without kindness.
To start off; some ideas:
Ask usual things in a different way. Instead of the usual "What do you
do?" or the unimaginative, "How are you?", try "So, what plans you got
for this week, anything unusual? How do you enjoy spending the weekends?"
"What's your favorite activity?" "What are you good at?" "How often do
you shop for groceries and where do you go for them?" "What is your favorite
destination?" "How do you learn, visually or by hearing?" "What is the
most interesting thing that has occurred in your life so far?" "What is
the next important thing that you would like to see take place.(in
the world or in their life)?" "Why
do most people buy silver cars?" "Did you ever have a pet?" "How do you
deal with obstinate
people?
And these
questions to awaken another to what has really gone on in the world
can be worked in depending on how you feel at the time.
Find a topic that you have
in common and build on that interest.
Show consideration
if you are in the middle of a group
by varying eye
contact to include everyone, not just the person with whom you may be talking.
When the conversation wanes,
as they all eventually do and it seems like time to move on: "It's been
my pleasure.('it's
been good', 'it was interesting' 'thanks for sharing that with me').talking
with you, I hope our paths cross again soon."
Never leave
without a thanks to who held the party or get together; 'Thanks for having
us all for coffee'.
If a point is made of something
that you do not agree with, reply with what you know and heard from others
about the subject that is agreeable:.Amos
3:3. Ask yourself while getting to know another: "Is he or she concerned
with compassion, caring and concern for others or rather, position, power
and self aggrandizement?"
And remember you'll never get to the next level if you are a hog.(to
take more than one's share).at
finishing sentences the other person is still speaking about.
Next is.medium
conversation, where you know the person
from a few meets with them and have some rapport
built up. Here in conversation one can superficially.probe
by using more pointed questions to find out what you may be interested
in knowing from the other.
Deep conversation.is
where, upon the rapport, trust has been built and one is sure that his
beliefs and opinions will be appreciated, though not necessarily accepted.
Both are comfortable that opinions can be listened to and commented upon
in a friendly manner:.Proverbs
17:7.
Always try to encourage
others:.Proverbs
17:22 "A merry heart does good like a medicine, but a broken spirit
dries the bones" Isaiah 52:7 "How
beautiful upon the mountains are the feet of him that brings good tidings,
that publishes peace, that brings good tidings of good, that publishes
salvation.(things
that save, things that help), that
says unto
Zion,
Your God reigns!"
Proverbs
25:11,25 "A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in pictures of
silver...As cold waters to a thirsty soul, so is good news from a far country."
1Peter
3:15 "But sanctify the Lord God in your hearts and be ready always
to give an answer to every man that asks you a reason of the hope that
is in you, with meekness and fear."
Words
of God to help when all hope seems gone.
The
Great Infinite One can give you wisdom
and an educated way of conversing:.Isaiah
50:4. When you are talking, you are not learning anything and he who
toots his own horn has warned everyone to stay away. Learning
public speaking builds confidence.
Some scriptures on how to
be around others in wisdom:.Proverbs
10:18-20,31; 12:25;
15:14,15;
17:22,27;
Psalms
15:1-3; 34:13.(re:
guile);
37:30;
39:1;
Proverbs
12:18; 15:1,2,4;
16:1;
17:4;
18:21;
21:6,23;
25:23;
26:28;
28:23;
Colossians
4:6;
James 1:26; 1Peter
3:10.
Lord, walk beside me
with your arm on my shoulder and your hand over my mouth. Before you
speak, consider, is it true, is it kind, is it necessary, am I preempting
another who is speaking?.Psalms
64:8 "...they make their own tongue to fall upon themselves..." Psalms
141:3 "Set a watch, O Lord, before my mouth; keep the door of my lips.".We
all reap what we have
sown.
Scriptures on watching
what you say:.(think
before talking; words
have unseen power):.James
3:2 "For in many things we offend all. If any man offend
not in word, the same is a perfect man and able also to bridle the
whole body" 1Peter 3:10,15 "For
he that will love life and see good days, let him refrain his tongue.(why
refrain your tongue).from
evil.(one
evil is gossip; another
is criticizing and berating
someone).and
his lips that they speak no guile......be
ready always to give an answer to every man that asks.(original
is 'desires' or really does want an answer and some people that really
desire an answer may be too down or preoccupied
in their troubles to even ask, so
what can you then do? It takes some wisdom and discernment
here, seek advice
on giving advice to others, why?).you
a reason of the hope that is in you .....".In
other words, do not be 'pushey' with your beliefs ifyou,
in your wisdom, think that it may drive others away.
Ecclesiastes
5:6.
Proverbs
17:14 "The beginning of strife
is as when one lets out water, therefore leave off contention, before it
be meddled with."
Proverbs
26:17 "He that passees by and meddles
with strife belonging not to him, is like one that takes a dog by the ears."
Matthew
12:37 "For by your words you are justified and by your words you are
condemned."
