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R e l a t i o n s h i p s
p a g e  9

By seeing only the Creator in the other person.(by knowing that the person is a creation of the Creator and that the Creator has placed a spirit in us:.1Corinthians 2:11).you get the Creator on your side to alter any negative situation, for why would you hate the bad people?

Keep your mouth shut around those who may harm you. Ancient king Hezekiah's people did. He was far from perfect but believed God could help. He talked to God about the massive trouble he was in. Guess what God did? The story:.2Kings 18:13 to 19:37.

As I learned in eastern religions, harmony cannot exist with inharmony. Either circumstances will change and you are moved from the situation or the other person will change or will be moved from you.

The quality of your life depends on how you may feel at the moment, right now, in the present and also on the people in your life. If you feel good right now, why not tomorrow and thereafter? Can you not carry the feeling into tomorrow? Sure you can, as long as you watch what you are entertaining in your mind.

On maintaining good relations with others:.Proverbs 25:17.

But, what if someone is unnecessarily troubling you?

What do you do with some of the negative or toxic people that are already there? 

One proven effective way is to have a short (even 3 seconds) prayer for the other.

But what if you also just want to stay away from this toxic person? Gradually reduce contact and interaction. Assuming you don't want to burn bridges, but you do want to remove yourself from the relationship, a gradual dis-entanglement over a period of time is very effective.

To help you address people you wish you hadn’t allowed entry to, you can use “Homeopathic Doses". A homeopathic dose is the minimum dose necessary to treat a problem. In this case, it's about dealing with people by structuring your interaction in very small doses.

Creating balance in your life: Every decision you make in the future will be based in part on past experiences you had with persons that impressed you, either positively or negatively. Neuroscientist Dr. Daniel Amen says."Significant input that is received in your brain triggers neural activity that cannot simply be erased. In other words, their fingerprints are all over your brain."

In all relationships we should endeavor to bring peace to them:.Ephesians 4:3 "Endeavoring.(work at being concerned about; one way is).to keep the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace." Romans 12:18 "If it be possible, as much as lies in you, live peaceably with all men.".Be big enough to take the invectives and not pass them on; let it all stop with you.

Harmony of the world is a consequence of the Creator's perfection. It is important to be in harmony with your Creator and you are this way by faith, by belief.

And what if one is lonely and in need of fellowship, care, consideration and concern?

Psalms 3:1-6; 27:7-12; Psalms 46:1,10 "...God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble...Be still and know that I am God..." Psalms 61:3 "For you have been a shelter for me and a strong tower from the enemy." Proverbs 18:10 "The name of the LORD is a strong tower. The righteous run into it and are safe."

Conversing is a part:.There is no relationship without involvement:.Luke 6:45 "...for of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaks.".Learn about speaking and about conversation:.Matthew 12:36.

Colossians 4:6 "Let your speech be always with grace, seasoned with salt, that you may know how you ought to answer every man.(person; if you have in mind that you are going to always speak something out of love, you'll know what to say)." James 1:19 "Wherefore, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath." Proverbs 17:7 "Excellent speech becomes not a fool...".(?)

Proverbs 22:11; Ecclesiastes 10:11-14; Colossians 4:6; 1Peter 3:10,15; James 3:6-9.

Any conversation you have with another should come from you as nourishing.

People functioning from fear talk mostly about what they don't like. Learn why to refrain your tongue. And, learn when to use it properly with wisdom

Be grateful for a person you can learn from, from a person who speaks out and what he or she says is correct and instructive; maybe something you had not considered or not considered in depth.

In one's relationship with all others, interaction is occurring. No interaction equals no relationship. In relating to another or others, desire to comprehend where they are 'coming from'. We all have lived differently and are always changing; as such, each of us possess varying.concepts about anything and everything. Just as two faces are never exactly alike and no two people see them exactly alike either, so it is with the make up of all our personalities. Although all is unified below the atom, on the surface our nervous systems have had a play in making uniqueness

In communication involving conversation, light to heavy; try to latch onto an interesting item the other said that you know something about and can add good information to..Listen.to the ideas, the new creations and words that come from others. Remember what Cicero said."Silence is one of the great acts of conversation."

Add variety when conversing by not 'beating one subject to death'. And be sure your voice, your speaking.(Colossians 4:6), reflects kindness, joy.(do you have a smile in your speaking?).and humility. Do not be afraid to find out what is in that mind of yours. Ask questions about what it is that comes to your mind. Don't worry about immediate answers. They'll come. This is.your.ride baby! You want to be sure that whoever is to join you in it is all for you:.Amos 3:3 "Can two walk together, except they be agreed?"

"You cannot speak that which you do not know. You cannot share that which you do not feel. You cannot give that which you do not possess. To give it and to share it and for it to be effective, you first need to have it. Good communication starts with good preparation."....Jim Rohn.

"Not enough people realize that it is our ability to use our language that will determine our place on the social pyramid and that will also control, to a great extent, the amount of money we will earn during our lives."....Earl Nightingale.

If you write, write so that a 12 year old can understand what you are trying to get across.

"Every idea you present must be something you could get across easily at a cocktail party with strangers."....Jack Welch, GE Chief Executive.

Avoid wasting time on meaningless drivel as those in the ancient city of Athens did:.Acts 17:21. And avoid talking too much. What is too much? If you talk.(and you may have to train yourself here with a watch for awhile).more than one minute, the other person's mind begins to wander away, slipping you into the category of boring or worse yet, a boor. So it is best to gear a 45 second talk to end with a question before the minute is up, such as, What do you think about that? Do you think it is wise? Am I thinking correctly here? Am I out of touch? What would you have done? Is that the only option? What else should I have perhaps considered? etc.

Remember, the one in control is generally the one who talks the least and asks questions.(the way to learn). But do talk some and in doing so, be open about your feelings on subjects you may be conversing in. If you don't have an opinion on things, how can anyone else have an interest in what's really you? How else can anyone get to understand you, apart from them being around you constantly and seeing all your actions in daily life?

Meeting someone for the first time,.light conversation.is engaged in: Light conversation is that in which the subject is changed frequently, not really getting into things below the surface. It's just finding out surface interests. It is important to keep any dissenting opinions to yourself, commenting instead on those things which draw each of you closer into agreement.(Amos 3:3).with rapport developing.

When you are enthusiastic, yet.calm and confident, you will feel comfortable.
   People like to hear personal experiences. Share your own stories. They create the greatest interest in another. Never end a conversation without kindness.

To start off; some ideas: Ask usual things in a different way. Instead of the usual "What do you do?" or the unimaginative, "How are you?", try "What plans you got for this week, anything unusual? How do you enjoy spending the weekends?" "What's your favorite activity?" "What are you good at?" "How often do you shop for groceries?" "What is your favorite destination?" "How do you learn, visually or by hearing?" "What is the most interesting thing that has occurred in your life so far?" "What is the next important thing that you would like to see take place.(in the world or in their life)?" "Why do most people buy silver cars?" "Did you ever have a pet?" "How do you deal with obstinate people?

Find a topic that you have in common and build on that interest.
   Show consideration if you are in the middle of a group by varying eye contact to include everyone, not just the person with whom you may be talking.

When the conversation wanes, as they all eventually do and it seems like time to move on: "It's been my pleasure.('it's been good', 'it was interesting' 'thanks for sharing that with me').talking with you, I hope our paths cross again soon."
   Never leave without a thanks to who held the party or get together; 'Thanks for having us all for coffee'.

If a point is made of something that you do not agree with, reply with what you know and heard from others about the subject that is agreeable:.Amos 3:3. Ask yourself while getting to know another: "Is he or she concerned with compassion, caring and concern for others or rather, position, power and self aggrandizement?" And remember you'll never get to the next level if you are a hog.(to take more than one's share).at finishing sentences the other person is still speaking about.

Next is.medium conversation, where you know the person from a few meets with them and have some rapport built up. Here in conversation one can superficially.probe by using more pointed questions to find out what you may be interested in knowing from the other.

Deep conversation.is where, upon the rapport, trust has been built and one is sure that his beliefs and opinions will be appreciated, though not necessarily accepted. Both are comfortable that opinions can be listened to and commented upon in a friendly manner:.Proverbs 17:7

Always try to encourage others:.Proverbs 17:22 "A merry heart does good like a medicine, but a broken spirit dries the bones" Isaiah 52:7 "How beautiful upon the mountains are the feet of him that brings good tidings, that publishes peace, that brings good tidings of good, that publishes salvation.(things that save, things that help), that says unto Zion, Your God reigns!"

Proverbs 25:11,25 "A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in pictures of silver...As cold waters to a thirsty soul, so is good news from a far country."

1Peter 3:15 "But sanctify the Lord God in your hearts and be ready always to give an answer to every man that asks you a reason of the hope that is in you, with meekness and fear."

The Great Infinite One can give you wisdom and an educated way of conversing:.Isaiah 50:4. When you are talking, you are not learning anything and he who toots his own horn has warned everyone to stay away. Learning public speaking builds confidence. 

Some scriptures on how to be around others in wisdom:.Proverbs 10:18-20,31; 12:25; 15:14,15; 17:22,27; Psalms 15:1-3; 34:13.(re: guile); 37:30; 39:1; Proverbs 12:18; 15:1,2,4; 16:1; 17:4; 18:21; 21:6,23; 25:23; 26:28; 28:23; Colossians 4:6; James 1:26; 1Peter 3:10

Lord, walk beside me with your arm on my shoulder and your hand over my mouth. Before you speak, consider, is it true, is it kind, is it necessary?.Psalms 64:8 "...they make their own tongue to fall upon themselves...".We all reap what we have sown.

Scriptures on watching what you say:.(think before talking; words have unseen power):.James 3:2 "For in many things we offend all. If any man offend not in word, the same is a perfect man and able also to bridle the whole body" 1Peter 3:10,15 "For he that will love life and see good days, let him refrain his tongue.(why refrain your tongue).from evil.(one evil is gossip; another is criticizing and berating someone).and his lips that they speak no guile......be ready always to give an answer to every man that asks.(original is 'desires' or really does want an answer and some people that really desire an answer may be too down or preoccupied in their troubles to even ask, so it takes some wisdom and discernment here, but do seek advice on giving advice to others, why?).you a reason of the hope that is in you .....".In other words, do not be 'pushey' with your beliefs if you, in your wisdom, think that it may drive others away.

Ecclesiastes 5:6.

Proverbs 17:14 "The beginning of strife is as when one lets out water, therefore leave off contention, before it be meddled with."

Proverbs 26:17 "He that passees by and meddles with strife belonging not to him, is like one that takes a dog by the ears."

Matthew 12:37 "For by your words you are justified and by your words you are condemned."


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