Mark Twain.aka.Samuel Langhorne Clemens 1835-1910. 
His penname was Mark Twain. American author and humorist who drew on his childhood along the Mississippi River to create masterpieces of humor and sarcasm, including Tom Sawyer (1876) and The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn (1884), considered a masterpiece of American literature. He wrote many other books and articles, such as the book Personal Recollections of Joan of Arc (1896). He was born in a place named Florida, in Missouri and later moved to Hannibal, Missouri where he worked for two printers. He later became a steamboat pilot until the American Civil War of 1861-1865 when travel on the Mississipi river wasn't recommended. Here are some of his witticisms: 1,2,3, 4 & 5, 6, 7, 8, 9; "Why is it that we rejoice at a birth and grieve at a funeral? It is because we are not the one involved."

"One must keep one's character. Earn a character first if you can and if you can't, then assume one."

"I have been complimented many times and they always embarrass me. I always feel that they have not said enough."

"Only one thing is impossible for God, to find any sense in any copyright law on the planet."

"No amount of evidence will ever convince an idiot."

target.noun,.plural.targets
an object, such as a padded disk with a marked surface, that is shot at to test accuracy in rifle or archery practice; something aimed or fired at; an object of criticism or attack (he was the target for jokes after catching what we called the smallest fish in the lake); a desired goal (a target group; a target market)
target, targeted, targeting, targets.transitive verbs
to make a target of; to aim at or for; to establish as a target or goal
on target.idiom
completely.accurate, precise or valid

tomahawk.noun,.plural.tomahawks
a small light ax.formerly.used as a tool or weapon by certain Native American peoples such as the Algonquian tribe in Virginia; their word for it is tamahaac
tomahawk, tomahawked, tomahawking, tomahawks.transitive verbs
to strike with or as if with a tomahawk

toast, toasted, toasting, toasts.verbs
transitive verb use.to heat bread making it brown by placing it in a toaster or an oven or close to a fire; to warm thoroughly, as before a fire (toast one's feet sitting at the campfire)
intransitive verb use.to become toasted (this bread toasts well) toast.noun,.plural.toasts
sliced bread heated and browned (toasted the bread and parched it a little)

toast.noun,.plural.toasts
the act of raising a glass and drinking in honor of or to the health of an individual or thing; when you drink a toast to someone or something, you drink some wine or other drink as a symbolic.gesture, in order to show your appreciation of them or to wish them success; a proposal to drink to someone or something or a speech given before the taking of such a drink; the one honored by a toast; a person receiving much attention or acclaim (the host said she was the toast of the party)
toast, toasted, toasting, toasts.verbs
transitive verb use.to drink to the health or honor of
intransitive verb use.to propose or drink a toast

topple, topples, toppled, toppling.verbs
intransitive verb use.to totter and fall; to lean over as if about to fall
transitive verb use.to push or throw over; overturn or overthrow

teeter, teetered, teetering, teeters.verbs
intransitive verb use.to walk or move unsteadily or unsurely; totter; to seesaw
transitive verb use.to cause to teeter or seesaw
teeter.noun,.plural.teeters
a teetering motion; a teeter-totter, also called seesaw

tumid.adjective
swollen; distended; of a bulging shape; protuberant; overblown; bombastic (tumid political prose)
tumidity.noun,.plural.tumidities
tumidness.noun,.plural.tumidnesses
tumidly.adverb

tumescence.noun,.plural.tumescences
a swelling or an enlarging; a swollen condition; a swollen part or organ
tumefy,.tumefies, tumefied, tumefying, intransitive & transitive verbs
tumefaction.noun,.plural.tumefactions
the process of puffing or swelling; a swollen.condition; a puffy or swollen part
tumefactive.adjective
(the wasp sting caused her face to be tumefactive)

tough, tougher, toughest.adjectives
able to withstand great strain without tearing or breaking; something hard to do; difficult; strong and resilient (a tough all-weather fabric); hard to cut or chew (tough meat; a chewy but hard candy); physically.hardy; rugged (tough mountaineers; tough weather in the mountains at this time of year); strong; severe; harsh (a tough winter); demanding or troubling; difficult (skipping the toughest questions); strong-minded; resolute (a tough negotiator); unfortunate; too.bad (a tough break it was that they forgot to call you when they could have used your abilities)
toughly.adverb
toughness.noun.(normally used without being pluralized)
toughen, toughened, toughening, toughens intransitive.and.transitive verbs
to make or become tough; harden
toughener.noun,.plural.tougheners

tap, tapped, tapping, taps.verbs
transitive verb use.to strike gently with a light blow or blows (I tapped you on the shoulder to get your attention); to give a light rap with (tap a pencil); to produce with a succession of light blows (tap out a rhythm)
intransitive verb use.to deliver a gentle, light blow or blows
tap.noun,.plural.taps
a gentle blow; the sound made by such a blow; a metal plate attached to the toe or heel of a shoe, as for tap-dancing

tap.noun,.plural.taps
a valve and spout used to regulate delivery of a fluid at the end of a pipe such as kitchen taps delivering water into the sink (a spigot; in medicine, the removal of fluid from a body cavity tapped the boil to remove the built up fluid); a tool for cutting an internal screw thread (a tap & die device)
tap, tapped, tapping, taps.transitive verbs
to furnish with a spigot or tap; to piercein order to draw off liquid (tap a maple tree for the making of maple syrup); to draw liquid from a vessel or container (tap a new keg of beer); in medicine, to withdraw fluid from a body cavity); to make a connection with or open outlets from (tap a supply of water from a main pipe (a water main); to wiretap a telephone or to tap into a cell phone); to establish an electric connection in a power line; to cut screw threads in a collar, socket or other fitting; to ask a person for money
on tap.idiom
ready to be drawn; in a tapped cask (beer on tap); available for immediate use; ready (extra personnel on tap for the big sale)

tramp, tramped, tramping, tramps.verbs
intransitive verb use.to walk with a firm, heavy step; trudge; to travel on foot; hike;
transitive verb use.to traverse on foot (tramp the fields); to tread down; trample (tramp down snow)
tramp.noun,.plural.tramps
a heavy footfall; the sound produced by heavy walking or marching; a walking trip; a hike (there we were tramping around the countryside trying to find the right farmhouse); a vagrant; a person regarded as promiscuous; in nautical.terms, a tramp steamer
tramper.noun,.plural.trampers
trampish.adjective
trampy.adjective
tramp steamer.noun,.plural.tramp steamers
a commercial vessel that plies the waters of the world that has no regular schedule but takes on and discharges cargo whenever hired to do so

traipse, traipsed, traipsing, traipses.intransitive verbs
to walk or tramp about; gad

terpene.noun,.plural.terpenes
any of various unsaturated hydrocarbons, C10H16, found in essential oils and oleoresins of plants such as conifers and used in organic.syntheses
terpenic.adjective
terpenoid.noun,.plural.terpenoids
terpenoid.adjective

turpentine.noun,.plural.turpentines
turpentine is a colourless liquid used for example, for cleaning paint off brushes; turpentine is a thin volatile oil, chemical name C10H16, obtained by steam distillation or other means from the wood or exudate of certain pine trees and used as a paint thinner, solvent, tanning.agent and as a liniment; also called oil of turpentine, spirit of turpentine; the sticky mixture of resin and volatile oil from which turpentine is distilled
turpentine, turpentined, turpentining, turpentines.transitive verbs
to apply turpentine to or mix turpentine with; to extract turpentine from a tree)
turpentinic.or.turpentinous.adjective